Anger Burger

A long time ago I came up with the term “electro-photonic auto-tarot” because I like unwieldy, hyphenated things (if I were to ever marry I would hyphenate at least once and probably add a third word in there while I was at it).

In essence: determining destiny by the frequency by which a topic appears on the internet.  This was before memes, but it still works if you take care to consciously ignore the things that are identifiably encouraged and instead focus on the inexplicably popular.  I’m not making any sense, am I?

An example of this is a strawberry muffin recipe I’ve encountered probably three or four times, each time thinking as I read it, “Well that sounds delightful,” only to later realize it also sounded familiar.  With this in mind I can’t reliably say where I saw it first, but I’m certain that if you’re a regular at the usual food-blog haunts you’ll come across it.

Today I saw it again and thought, “Alright, yes, calm the fuck down,” and went to buy some fresh strawberries and buttermilk.  The recipe is simple — a single bowl, a muffin tin, you’re good to go — and as I would later come to realize, also tasted simple, which isn’t really a compliment.

How can this be?  It has vanilla, butter, sugar, strawberries and lemon zest — lemon zest, for shit’s sake!  The recipe just reads like a list of things that taste great.  Somehow I ended up with a defiantly uninspiring end product.  Perhaps it was because I opted to leave out the cinnamon?  I don’t know.  I added a lemon juice and confectioners sugar glaze that seemed to help, and pawned a few off on the neighbors who are British and hopefully have no sense of taste.

I should also note that during the course of the afternoon I’ve eaten about five of these so far so perhaps they are tastier than my forebrain is letting on.  Reptilian-brain Sunday appears to love them.

Strawberry Muffcakes

2 C. all-purpose flour
1 Tbl. baking powder
½ tsp. baking soda
½ tsp. salt
¼ tsp. fresh nutmeg
½ tsp. ground cinnamon (I’m just saying, I didn’t add it)
2/3 C. sugar
zest of 1 lemon

2 eggs

1 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla

6 Tbl. (3 oz)  unsalted butter, melted

1 cup finely diced strawberries

• Preheat oven to 400°.  Grease and flour muffin tin if you must, but you’re a fool for not using liners.
• Whisk together the dry ingredients, including the zest.
• Add the eggs, buttermilk and vanilla, stirring until smooth, about 30 strokes.
• Add melted butter, stirring until incorporated.
• Gently stir in the diced strawberries.
• Spoon into 12 muffin liners, filling almost to the rim.  Don’t worry, they won’t overflow.
• Bake about 18 minutes, or until golden and springy to the touch.
• Allow to cool, and then if you so choose top with a simple lemon glaze:

stir together until smooth and use immediately

½ C. confectioners sugar
juice from ½ a lemon