Anger Burger

• What should I make for dinner?

• I forgot to make myself lunch and reluctantly went to Subway to purchase a sandwich.  I like Subway alright — assuming it is made decently.  I find that the level of skill varies so drastically from store to store that I no longer like playing lunch roulette with them.  Anyway, so this one Subway near my work is so busy that one would assume a truckload of starving orphans were shipped in from 1931 for the lunch hour, and thus, probably had fresh bread at the least¹.  I asked for an Italian sub, toasted, which I schlepped back to the stinking, filthy breakroom of my place of employment and sluggishly took a large bite.  The sandwich, to my confusion, exploded like a fluorescent tube being dropped.  PSSSHT.  Micro-fine breadcrumbs lay in a thick layer over the table and my lap.  I opened my mouth and a fine powder of dry bread particulate drifted out.  I don’t know if it was age, the toasting, or a combination of both, but I believe I witnessed a miracle of science, like finding a jar in an Egyptian tomb still sticky with ancient honey.

• No, really, what should I make for dinner?

• I guess this wasn’t a list, but a story about a sandwich.

¹That was a fucked up sentence, but I’m tired and hungry and of the Dumbest Generation, so I’m not going to fix it because I use the Internet and thus can’t be bothered to read The Great Gatsby².

²Can you tell I’m angry about this book?  No?