Anger Burger

Yesterday I had a chat with my mom about the maple syrup shortage at the end of which we both let out a Homerian “Mmmm, pancakes.”  Combined with Mike’s recent hinting that maybe French Toast was a good way to break out of the All-Asian-All-the-Time cycle, I broke down and agreed, yes, breakfast for dinner.

This is way too much bacon, unless you have a penis.

A while back I switched to baking bacon rather than pan-frying it, and the day will come when for some reason I have to pan-fry the bacon again, and I will loathe that day.  Baking is (aside from the wasteful overuse of tinfoil) so totally superior in both clean-up and flavor that I simply can’t imagine another way.

The bacon we ate this time was the nitrite-free Trader Joe’s applewood smoked variety, and I honestly felt it was a little too campfirey to buy again.  When it was cooking it was really as though someone had rolled around in a wet, extinguished campfire and then rubbed a few pieces of ham on their body.  The taste was better, luckily.  It cooked up with an excellent texture, but a still-lingering over-smokiness.  I mean, I’d cook it again in a pinch, but you get my point.  Campfire.  No.

I’ve been using the Joy of Cooking pancake recipe for years, which my mother doesn’t like but this is how I rebel.  I make it with buttermilk and always add fruit and ground flax.  Though, since we started eating a dose of flax oil every day (to lubricate our brains) the ground flax is redundant, but I still like the way it tastes.  Maybe I’ll switch to wheat germ.   Mike prefers bananas in his pancakes, and I just discovered that I prefer feijoa.  A lot.  In fact, it was the best pancake I’ve ever eaten.  It was perfect.  You can’t hear it, but my stomach is snarling as I write this.

As I was getting our plates all nicely settled and we moved into the livingroom to watch a DVD while we ate, our room began to shake with the familiar feel of tectonic plates slipping.  I set my fork down on my plate (which then fell to the floor, and thus became the only Anger Burger household quake victim of the evening) while Mike debated picking up the plate of bacon as we exited to a safer room (one that isn’t ringed in bookshelves) (which are anchored to the wall, mom and dad, relax).  Anyway, bladda-bladda, by the time our brains caught up it was all over.  And then I forgot to take photos of our final meal.  So, here’s the recipe for the pancakes instead:

Joy of Cooking Basic Pancakes
cut down for two people

¾ C. AP flour
2 T. sugar
¼ C. ground flax seed (or wheat germ)
¾ tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. baking soda
¼ tsp. salt

¾ C. buttermilk
2 T. melted butter
1 egg
½ tsp. vanilla

• In a large bowl, mix all of the dry ingredients together.
• In a small Pyrex measuring cup, measure out the buttermilk, then add the melted butter, egg and vanilla.  Beat lightly until egg is broken up.
• When griddle or pan is preheated to medium, stir the wet ingredients into the dry.
• Fry (if nonstick, there’s no need to use butter or spray to grease the pan) the first side until large bubbles leave a few open holes on the top of the pancake.  This effort might be thwarted if you’ve sprinkled fruit pieces on the top, but that’s why you use a spatula to lift and peek under the pancake’s skirt.
• The second side will brown much faster.  Cook just until the middle is puffed and springy.
• Eat with incredibly expensive maple syrup.
• Bring along extra fork in case there is an earthquake.