Red Bull, Maybe Not the Blood of Gods
I’ve let it be known on my other website that I’m a fan of the Red Bull, and for good reasons, the primary of which are:
- it actually works
- it does not contain high fructose corn syrup
A few weeks back I read about Red Bull’s 2008 venture of making a simple cola, and my spirits soared¹. As I initially suspected, they were going the all-natural route, but surprised me even more by eliminating phosphoric acid as well. Phosphoric acid is what gives Coca-Cola (and most sodas) it’s peppy tartness, and as you might expect it is used only because it is cheap cheap cheap. The awesome part? It destroys bone mass and contributes to kidney problems.
Enter (uh, again) Red Bull Cola. Natural flavors, no phosphoric acid, cane sugar, an adult flavor and is available in their classic petite 8.4 oz. can, also known as the bestest size. The sweetness of Red Bull Cola is a full 10 grams less than a can of Coca-Cola, but it is the almost medicinal-spiciness that appeals to me. It starts with a clear galangal/clove punch, but there’s a savory finish to the beverage, something possibly due to the inclusion of mustard seed and pine in the ingredients, but also easily attributed to the lack of high fructose corn syrup. It’s a clean flavor, one that is actually refreshing rather than cloying. My mouth is not physically sticky after drinking it.
While I appreciate all of these flavor qualities, I think one of the most valuable aspects of Red Bull Cola (at least, I really hope) is its availability – it could very well be the only readily available, gas-station-purchasable natural soda. There are plenty of other tasty all-natural sodas in the world, but in my real world I don’t carry icy-cold hippie sodas around with me to bust into when I’m out walking and realize that what I really need right now? Is sugary, sweet precious caffeine. Previously I went for Red Bull in this instance (remember: still better for you than a Coke), but I appreciate having a classic cola option now.
And now, for the hypocritical, self-contradictory switcheroo: I don’t know that I’ll be buying it again soon. It doesn’t taste like Coca-Cola. Nothing else does. And if I’m going to be spending $2 on a can of something caffeinated and bubbly? I’m going to buy a regular Red Bull.
As a side note, perhaps you’ve heard that Pepsi and Mountain Dew now have “natural sugar” versions? They do. I’ve only seen them at 7-11 here in Los Angeles, and they are hard to spot since their labels look almost exactly the same as the HFCS versions. However, Mike and I tried them both and realized that: they are still sort of gross. Crazy sweet, too. In fact, the Mountain Dew tasted very strongly of artificial sweetener, something I couldn’t wrap my brain around. How can natural sugar taste more like aspartame than aspartame does? I don’t know, but it was unpleasant. Also: I remembered that regular Mountain Dew is totally grody.
¹This cliché is a bit of an exaggeration. I think I said “Yay!” out loud, though.
May 16th, 2009 | Obsessed
When we were in the UK, a lot of the store-bought food/snacks/drinks/candy we had all seemed a little weird. I’m sure that a lot of that was because I’m just used to the Americanized versions. The Coca-Cola, however, kicked our Coke’s ass. In the UK it is of the real sugar variety and I am so sad that we can’t find it over here. Even when they had the passover Coke, that wasn’t available in Southern Illinois.
@ Dan – I don’t know if you guys have Costco Stores there, but if ya do, they now carry 24 bottle cases of Coca-Cola from Mexico ($19.). The Mexican Cokes are made from the old fashioned recipe using real sugar (can we say ‘throwback’ class?). As Sunday and Mike can attest, they are deelish! I sent a case with her when she drove back to L.A. last summer.
Check around Dan. I’m sure you guys have the equivalent of Costco back there (Good Sam’s? … whatever). The Mexican Cokes come in a plain brown flat, shrink-wrapped in clear plastic and look, for all the world, like just ordinary bottles of Coke. They have added a stick-on label over the Spanish labeling (that’s a good give-away to look for!). Small, red lettering on the box-end reads ‘HECHO EN MEXICO’.
Believe us, they are worth around looking for! I can’t stomach a Coke from the States now.
MOTHERF*CKING COCA COLA!
Uh, I didn’t mean to post that last sentiment on its own, although it really sums up my feelings: Coke is the succulent monkey that I cannot get off my back. I wish it was 10% less sweet and 100% less evil. I also wish my hippie friends would stop looking at me like I’ve popped open an ice cold can of diarrhea whenever I drink one.
I’m not kidding: sometimes I need a Coke and it is truely and literally not an option to avoid it. Like, Coke is what made me understand how actual drug addicts feel. There’s no internal struggle I just go, “Okay, I’m going to have a Coke now,” and then afterwards I feel vaguely ashamed.
That being said: lets see if your friends feel the same way when you open an ice cold can of Red Bull in their faces.
http://www.snopes.com/medical/potables/simplycola.asp