Nectar
Okay, so, iced tea. I feel like we both don’t need me to tell you about iced tea, but I’m going to.
I suppose because my daddy’s family is from South Carolina I know a thing or two about iced tea, but yet again it is one of those things that inspires vehement opinion. I’m going to open the Thunderdome Angerdome for business and say: iced tea should be black and sweet and if you’re feeling peckish a wedge of lemon will suffice.
If you’re from a certain part of the South, you swear by Luzianne and nothing but Luzianne. I’m pretty sure you’re shot in the ass with rock salt if you suggest Red Rose might be a reasonable substitute. But then you have your Liptonites. Of course, my claims at authenticity are about to disintegrate, but I’m pretty sure I remember my Grandma Evelyn buying whatever was on sale. You have your Southerners, and then you have your women from the South. If you know what I mean. And I’m not even sure I do. Whatever the case, I have access to Lipton so Lipton it is — for the record, I’m not crazy about Lipton as a hot tea (it has a tendency to get fucking bitter) but their “Iced Tea Blend” in “Family Packs” is both hilarious (see above photo) and tasty. And purchasable anywhere.
The next thing is the sugar. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll drink an unsweetened iced tea (if it comes unsweetened I sure as shit ain’t putting one of those pink packets in it), but it isn’t the same. It requires at cup (!!!) of sugar to a pitcher of tea, which is the same amount suggested on the back of a packet of Kool-Aid.
I put in enough water to easily dissolve the sugar and soak the tea bags, something like three cups. It’s not important to measure. Pulling off the strings from the tea is also another ‘whatever’ step – I do it. You don’t have to. I just don’t want to fuss with a hot tea bag tied to the side of my pot later, but you might be a masochist. Either way, there’s a ton of methods for this part, but this one is mine: once the water starts to simmer, throw in the tea bags, turn the heat off, cover the pot, and walk away for at least ten minutes but up to thirty. That’s it, tea syrup. Add water to bring the whole thing up to level and chill. Of course, “level” is whatever you want it to be, but if you’re going to be drinking your tea with ice I highly recommend keeping it all on the strong side and letting the tea mellow as it chills.
Plenty of Southern women swear by different tactics, and here are some that I disagree with:
- Baking soda. Some swear that a pinch of soda makes the tea “clear” and “less bitter” but I find that no one has ever given a shit if the tea is clear and if it’s made without boiling the tea bags, it won’t be bitter. Also, if you overdo the soda even a little you get salty-ish, chemically-tasting tea. Rad.
- Sun tea. This is an arguable point, but I don’t think it’s Southern tea if it has been made in the sun. See: the entire part where you dissolve a cup of granulated sugar into it.
- Mint. No.
Obviously it tastes better in a Strawberry Shortcake pitcher.
My dad was once reminiscing about being a kid in the South, part of which was a story of how he and his friends would run around the neighborhood each twilight for hours, stopping only to chug giant aluminum tumblers of sweet tea. I sort of chuckled and said, “You must have been pleasant to be around,” to which he gave me a hurt and confused look. “A 60-lb. child drinking whole buckets of caffeine and sugar? It’s a miracle you weren’t bleeding from the ears.” A moment of genuine surprise lit his face. “No wonder we were so energetic!”
Proper Sweet Iced Tea
9 bags regular sized tea or 3 packets “family sized” or “iced tea” bags
1 C. sugar
6? 7? 8? C. of water? who knows
- In a medium saucepan, bring 1 C. sugar and a few cups of water to barely a simmer.
- When the water is just barely bubbling here and there, toss in the tea bags and turn off heat. Cover with lid.
- Leave to steep for about 15-20 minutes, and as long as a half an hour.
- Decant to a pitcher and at least double the water (without the bags), stopping to taste as you go. Leave it a little stronger than seems perfect.
- Serve with ice and a squeeze of lemon.
In re: yer Southern women’s tactics -
Soda in yer swee’tea: you’d be run out of town on a rail in my family.
Sun tea: we never heard of it until we moved to California.
Mint: is for Juleps! Period.
Swee’tea was/is a staple at table in the South of my childhood … HUGE glass tumblers, but more often than not, Mason jars. We were poorer than the dirt, yet an incredibly happy, solid-as-granite family. I miss that … a lot. le sigh
Gak! “Sweet tea”, not “sweet iced tea”. I’m sure your dad would agree. This is the standard question throughout the South, even in restaurants: “Sweet tea, hon?” Yes, please, ma’am.
My now 90 year-old great aunt’s method: pour your sweetened tea concentrate over a pitcher full of ice. It will melt, diluting it and cooling it at the same time. When when you’re encapsulated in a tangibly thick layer of vaporized water, you want to keep your sweet tea coming.
Quag: As I’ve mentioned, I come from southern Georgia stock and sweet tea is, in my mind, liquid southern hospitality. It always rankles when my fellow Yanks toss out generalizations about people from the South, because I know none of them have experienced the easy, expansive warmth of an extended family gathering in the South nor the distinct pleasure of a fresh-off-the-tree grapefruit, a bowl of buttered grits and a glass of sweet tea first thing in the morning.
Ugh. If you want me to stop with the long-ass comments, just tell me to STFU. It’s a sign of blog-love, truly.
Seriously, do not stop. If this is the extent to which we can pursue a friendship, then I accept it.
And you’re right about the “sweet tea” not “sweet iced tea”. I’m showing my butt, as Grandma Evelyn would say. But you have to remember: I’m not actually from the South. I’m from Waaarshington.
I’ve also done the ice cube thing in the past, but I’ve also always been missing that most Southern of accouterments, the ice-maker. Instead I’ve been stuck in the risky practice of making tea early and hoping it’s coldish by the time anyone needs to drink any.