Anger Burger

“I don’t mean to sound funny, but I feel like this is the future.  I mean it.  I feel like in 2020 everyone is going to be smoking electronic cigarettes.”

– Mike

One of the decisions that we¹ made for the trip was Mike’s transition to an electronic cigarette.  The long story is that he’s spent the last 30 days researching and deciding on whether they were something he would use, how safe they were and what brand he’d purchase.  Between him and his friend Sean (who also did a hefty share of research and experimentation), I feel they’ve come to some excellent and educational conclusions.  I’ll go ahead and get to the end of the story now: Mike couldn’t be happier with his purchase, and hasn’t smoked a old-style cigarette since he got his e-cigarette.

Since we both wanted to share with people the things he’s learned, here’s a breakdown of the whole shebang.

1)  E-cigarettes are way, way safer than old cigarettes.

In 2008 the pharmaceutical industry (and surprisingly to a lesser extent the tobacco industry) started to get pretty worried about the mass-production of the first viable electronic cigarettes and wasted no time calling up their buddies over at the FDA who promptly issued a string of “studies” and warnings about e-cigarettes, most of which still persist in the form of rumor.  Unsurprisingly, FDA has withheld the practical interpretations of their studies.  For example, they grimly point out that e-cigarettes contain nitrosamines, a known carcinogen.  Well, guess what?  It is the same amount found in Nicorette gum, and approximately 1000% less than is found in tobacco smoke.  Another big warning is the dread diethylene glycol, or anti-freeze.  However, your toothpaste probably has diethylene glycol in it, let alone the question of how much diethylene glycol is in an old cigarette (answer = a lot).  Did you know there’s a maximum safety standard for diethylene glycol’s use as a food additive?  It’s not much (.2%) but it’s some.  And to be sure: we’re not claiming e-cigarettes are totally safe, only that they are incalculably safer than old cigarettes.  The key is to question who is opposed to the use of e-cigs, and then things start to become clear: how can Big Pharma wean you off cigarettes 8 times (the average number of serious tries it takes a person to quit) with their expensive Chantix if you’re happily puffing away?  (EDIT: Additional comment at bottom)

This was right around the time we realized there was not going to be a ‘cool’ smoking shot.  It’s pretty much all pen fellatio.

2) E-cigarettes are cheaper than old cigarettes.

This one is easily demonstrable: a set-up kit from a generic importer will run you about $40 – that’s for the base atomizer and a recharging pack, along with a few nicotine refill cartridges.  The cartridges, on the other hand, run about 40¢ each – and each one is equivalent to 1/2 a pack of cigarettes.  That’s 80¢ for a pack of cigarettes. Some quick math shows that the average smoker will have the e-cigarette paying for itself in about a month, and after will be saving about $1500 a year.  Dang, yo!  Of course, there are accessories (if you get the mini e-cigs, which are closer in size to an old cigarette, you’ll most definitely want a portable charger to take with you every day) and they are an electronic device that can break.  However, replacement parts for the atomizer and the rechargeable batteries are still about the cost of a single pack of old cigarettes.  Lastly, you can save even more by refilling the nicotine cartridges yourself with “E-Juice” (blech, those guys need some copywriters).

3) The e-cigarette is often marketed as a way to quit smoking, but you might find you smoke less with the e-cigarette even if you don’t intend to.

Everyone knows there’s a lot of psychology to smoking.  There are the physical motions, the stepping outside, the social aspect.  The strange thing that Mike noted is that once he no longer needed to go outside, his smoking habits immediately rearranged themselves.  Now he finds he smokes much less, but more frequently.  One or two puffs is enough to sate him for about an hour, whereas before he’d finish an entire old cigarette, and why not — you’re already outside, you’re smoking, you finish your smoke.  If you are trying to quit, early studies are showing incredible results, something like 80% success rates versus the 5% standard of nicotine gum.

4) There is no danger to others.

The second-hand smoke factor for e-cigarettes is almost nill.  The nicotine is carried in water vapor that rarely gets past the smoker’s own mouth, something I can attest to directly.  Even more, many people on the forums note that “courtesy” e-smoking makes even less vapor – they discretely draw in, hold their breath and exhale nothing at all.

This was with the vapor totally uninhaled, just immediately expressed into the air.  For science.

5) There is no flavor/odor unless you want there to be.

The manufacturers for the e-cigarettes boast just under 50 flavors (!) for their refills, a fact that those against the e-cigarette have latched onto as a factor in the potential appeal to children.  I admit that the e-cigarette will be more appealing to young people for a multitude of reasons — not the least of which is that a lack of odor means no detection from teachers and parents — and that perhaps making peanut-butter flavor isn’t entirely moral (or tasty?).  But kids will be kids, and if they’re sneaking smokes I for one would much, much rather they were sneaking e-cigs.  As a note about the flavors, Mike didn’t realize he ordered “Marlboro” flavor until afterward, he believed he had ordered “tobacco.”   For the first time the other day I smelled it when some of the vapor wafted under my nose as we sat outside together and it smelled good, like a fresh cigarette pack smells (I’m not a smoker myself).  I’d be interested to know if the different “brands” of flavor (Camel, Marlboro, Turkish, etc.) do actually taste different.  As a more personal and gross note, Mike and I made out like teenagers the other day in large part for me because his mouth tasted spring clean.  Sean already reports a having better sense of smell.

The 510 manual e-cigarette compared to his obsolete bretheren.

6) The e-cigarettes may nor may not be allowed indoors and on airplanes.

This one is constantly changing.  Most airlines, it appears, do not directly forbid the smoking of e-cigarettes on planes, though there are lots of anecdotal reports that individual flights have asked users to stop.  The reason for stopping people is entirely one of confusion; there is vapor, it is an electronic device, what the hell is it?  Some e-cig fans encourage open, vocal use by referring to them as “nicotine inhalers” and covering the LED light as they smoke.  Still, Mike and I wonder why one wouldn’t just smoke in the plane’s restroom, as it eliminates the weirdness factor altogether.  I think of it almost like an insulin shot – you can do it in the open, but it seems easier for everyone if you can find a more discrete way.  A similar condition is indoors, in a restaurant or a store.  Because the technology is so new, it seems you are inviting confrontation.  On the other hand, people have to get educated sometime, right?

LED end.  Sort of silly, sort of Logan’s Run.  And they sell “crystal” versions!  TOTALLY Logan’s Run!

Lastly, the devices themselves.  There are a lot to choose from, and a to keep a long story short less long, Mike chose the 510.  Do your own research on size and automatic vs. manual, and feel free to ask us questions here.  The biggest tip we can give is to order from a place called Heaven Gifts.  They are well-rated by other users, and Mike and Sean had excellent service with them.  They provide everything you could ever need for your e-cigs, including the refill fluid should you choose to save even more money (we’ve yet to experiment with this, it might be a pain in the ass).  Also note that Heaven Gifts will be closed for 8 days starting October 1st, and until then are offering double reward points on orders.  Mike, Sean and myself are not associated with Heaven Gifts at all, just happy customers.

So those are the basic facts as regurgitated by us.  You are, as always, encouraged to do your own research.  Pretty much all you’d ever want to know can be read over at the electronic cigarette forums and also gives an idea of how big this thing has gotten already.

¹By which I mean Mike made all by himself.

EDIT: Leesa pointed out something very poignant, which is that states get about 80% of the price of a pack of cigarettes you purchase in the form of taxes and e-cigarettes are totally untaxed.  It is very likely that states are going to either ban or tax the e-cigarettes as they gain popularity, and know that if they ban them?  They’ll claim it is for health reasons.  Sure.  And not that $5 you used to make off every single pack of old cigarettes sold.