Anger Burger

A while back I noticed that this website was found by someone Googling “tomatoes and Crohn’s disease” and I laughed, because it’s a bit of an inside joke.  The short answer is: no.  They can’t.

Dear fellow Crohnie,

I know how you’re feeling right now, like the retarded kid who has his own table at lunch because he’s allergic to even the radiant molecules of a peanut, and you’re thinking, “It can’t be the tomato I just ate, it’s just some random reaction of the Crohn’s.”   And that might be true, I guess.  But I think you and I both know the truth.  And there’s only one cure.

Stop eating the goddamn tomatoes.

Just stop eating them!  Oh sure, some of you fancy Crohnies have all that health insurance and shit and have everything “under control” with medication, but I’m talking to you too!  The skin fiber combined with the acid is a UXB just waiting to reach your bowels.  I know what you’re thinking, you’re looking at that last post I wrote about the lamb burger and you’re looking at the tomatoes and hissing “You hypocrite!” but ah-ha!  There you are wrong, sir and/or madam!  I pulled the bastards off before I ate!

At some point you will have to accept this.  Eating tomatoes is Russian Roulette, except instead of one bullet randomly distributed amongst six chambers, it is six bullets randomly distributed amongst six chambers, and also they are not bullets, they are tomatoes.

With Love,

Sunday