Anger Burger

When crossing the street we each of us will think we have this time finally figured out which way to look, confidently look left and then almost get hit by oncoming traffic.  Literally dozens and dozens of time now.  Our solution is to look straight ahead and shout “AMERICAN!”  It all started when our friend here — who is American by birth but has been driving in New Zealand long enough to know better — suddenly and absentmindedly pulled out into oncoming traffic.  Unable to articulate what was happening, Mike cried out “AMERICAN!”

It should come as no surprise that New Zealand has Denny’s restaurants, the great American middle ground for old people and teenage hooligans.  But it does anyway.  Because honestly, of all the things that deserve to be recreated elsewhere?  Not Denny’s.  Which is why when Marika asked what we wanted to do on our last day, Denny’s actually came up¹.  Won’t that be hilarious!?  Denny’s?  Um.

As a matter of fact, yes.  Because what says Denny’s like… nasi goreng?  My, that egg looks natural.  Well shit, now we have to order it.  Marika asked for it to include “spicy chicken” (because there was spicy chicken in other dishes on the menu) and the server just sort of stared blankly.

“Spicy?”

“Chicken, yes.”

“Yeah, okay.”

However, what came out was basically nasi goreng with about fourteen cups of Tabasco sauce in it, ominously telling her as he set it down, “I don’t know how spicy it is, but it should be pretty hot, yeah!”  The all-too familiar waft of Tabasco vinegar gas-bombed our table, taking my breath away.  That fucker was spicy.

I briefly considered having the shrimp cocktail because boy, doesn’t that look delicious.  Is that… nacho cheese?

And then it caught my eye: satay roll.  Satay chicken on a hoagie?  Oh, Toto.  We’re not in Malaysia anymore.  Or America.

Oh-ho!  Oh man.  Okay.  What?  Um.  I mean, I like puke as much as the next person, but that seems a little off.  And now do you want to hear the crazy part?  It was pretty tasty. I mean, it was a surprisingly good satay sauce, really sticky and peanutty, and the chicken hidden inside there was cooked well.  Overall, it was a surprisingly good lunch.  I was far too full to eat any of my fries (which is good, because they sucked) and I’m pretty sure I’ll be attempting a satay hoagie at home.

I do regret not ordering the “Fresh & Fruity Frost,” because: what is that?  Is that shredded wheat?  Chicken?  Now we’ll never know.

¹ To be fair, wind and a sick cat² derailed any other plans we had.
² Not together.