Anger Burger

After a nicely uneventful return trip¹, I have to admit that it’s good to be back in Los Angeles again.  And what better time to come home than Halloween, when the city punches you in the eyes with gloves made of Dadaism.

Getting back into old eating habits has been curiously elusive.  I had decided long before we returned that I was straining uncomfortably at my jeans and it might be time to lose some weight.  I’d probably just ignore it, to be honest, but seeing that I can’t afford even a new-to-me thriftstore pair of jeans, it’s actually more sensible to just drop five pounds.

Buuut.   I’m no good at dieting.  I’m good at eating moderately healthy, which is what my compromise will be.  And I’m good at eating chocolate, so that’s going to have to find its way in, too.  Luckily, according to my totally unscientific and blindly hopeful dieting method, I’m allowed to eat chocolate. Actually, I’m allowed to eat whatever the fuck I want to, but I am trying to not eat fried or particularly fatty things unless I’m dead certain I can’t live without them, and as of right now, so far that’s none.

Anyway, so, chocolate.  I encountered this B.T. McElrath chocolate bar at Whole Foods² yesterday and I had to have it.  Passionfruit and tangerine?  Ooo! Ooo!  Me!  Me!  And better yet, the mixture of white and dark chocolates, a blend that I absolutely love despite the fact that I’m just making milk chocolate in my mouth?  Yes please.

And no kidding: this is one of the most beautiful bars of chocolate I have ever seen.   This is the bar of chocolate you set out on a nice cutting board with a sharp knife when guests are over and it seems super fancy but really you’ve just set out a $3.50 bar of chocolate for people to share.

Unfortunately, that’s where the luxury ends.  It tastes like a solid mediocre bar of chocolate.  With the words “passion fruit” and “tangerine” in the title, I want it to be floral and zippy and zesty, but instead it’s just occasionally a little tart and doesn’t have much character otherwise.  Like me!

¹Minus the part where engine #3 wouldn’t start. True!
²I should note that I don’t really shop at Whole Foods, because it is  outside of our budget in a way that is nearly hilarious.  I am, in fact, one of those Whole Foods haters.  But I grudgingly admit that they are the only store anywhere even close to me that carries the shaving cream I like and/or the world’s best marzipan.