Anger Burger

RAAAAARR!

For some reason it’s all meat all the time over here lately.  I swear it’s not intentional, nor is it exactly true.  I don’t take photos of my morning oatmeal, nor did I take photos of my dinner the other night that I respectfully called Hippy Chow¹.  Nor did I mention the vegetarian pizza I ate.  Or my favorite Indian dish, saag paneer.  No sir; for some reason, all I can be bothered with to document is meat.

Let’s get going.

I was in my late 20′s before it occurred to me to try to cook my mother’s pot roast, a food I considered too costly (it’s not at all) and too difficult (it’s easier than an omelet) to make until one day when it struck me I might be wrong.  I called my mom and listened as she tried to explain how to cook it.  When I say “tried,” I mean that she never had a recipe, it’s just that basic of a food.  It’s like giving someone a recipe for mashed potatoes.  How many potatoes?  How much salt?  Are you slow?

As I said, pot roast is not an expensive cut of meat in the last, particularly when considering how many meal portions can be made from it.  To the unfamiliar, though, it appears to be a terrifying meatslab that will feed 4,000 angry Vikings.  In reality it will feed 1 angry Viking twice.  And his girlfriend.  What you want is about 3 pounds of chuck roast, as well-marbled with fat as you can find.  From there, it gets seasoned well and fried on each side for flavor, after which you basically let it go and walk away for 3 hours.  There’s a little more to it than that, but only a little.

Lots of onion and garlic, which cooks down into almost nothing at all other than a deliciousness that can’t be described.

Arguably the best part of pot roast is the vegetables that are then cooked in the super-rich stock the pot roast has been braising in for hours.  It is almost unbelievable the way they take on umami.

Yep, there’s no way this is going to photograph well.

And then, of course, gravy.  Oh god, the gravy.  This, friends, is not exactly what I’d call a healthy dinner, but it’s an honest and simple one and is better for you than a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, which is admittedly not saying much, but dang!  Look at that!  And for seriously minor effort.  Once again, bein’ lazy is treating me just fine.

Before we part ways entirely, be advised: you want leftovers. Trust me.  And tune in tomorrow for why.

Mama Starr’s Pot Roast
note the cooking time: it is 3 hours of actual cooking time and maybe 30 minutes of prep, so you’ll want to get started 4 hours before you want to eat. A note on the ingredient called “Kitchen Bouquet” – this is an American product made from vegetables that adds an aesthetically pleasant brown color as well as deepening meaty flavors and I find it to be totally necessary.  It’s good for anything you want to taste “rich”. Also, a note on “Wondra Flour” – it is a very fine flour blend designed for thickening gravies, and works a damn treat. I almost never use cornstarch to thicken, just Wondra.

1 2.5 – 3 lb. chuck roast, well marbled with fat
salt & pepper or Lawry’s Seasoning Salt
16 oz. beef stock
1 tsp. Kitchen Bouquet
1 large onion, cut into chunks
5 cloves of garlic, quartered
5 large carrots, peeled and cut into chunks
4 or 5 large waxy potatoes, quartered, or a dozen small waxy potatoes, whole
2 Tbsp. Wondra Flour

• Season both sides of the chuck with either a lot of salt and pepper or a lot of Lawry’s Seasoning Salt.  Mom always used Lawry’s, but I’m not sure it really alters the final taste much.  Anyway, season the holy hell out of it while heating up a large heavy dutch oven.  When the dutch oven is hot, add a spoonful of cooking oil and sear the sides of the chuck, about 5 minutes each side.

• Pour the beef stock over the chuck, bringing the liquid level up to about 3/4 the way up the sides of the meat.  It’s okay to have a little too much stock, but it’s bad to not have enough.  Add the teaspoon of Kitchen Bouquet to the liquid.  Sprinkle the garlic and onions on and around the meat.  When the stock is lightly simmering around the sides of the chuck, put a lid on it, keep the heat down low and set a timer to 1 hour.

• After the hour has passed, carefully use a pair of tongs and maybe some other implement to turn the meat over in the stock.  Again making sure that the liquid is just nicely simmering, put the lid on it and set a timer to 1 hour.

• After the second hour has passed, carefully flip the meat again.  Make sure it is just simmering, return lid, and set timer for 1/2 hour.

• After 1/2 hour, poke around the meat and make sure it seems like it’s falling apart at least all around the exterior.  If it seems like this is happening, add the potatoes and carrots and add either the rest of the beef stock or a little water if it seems like there isn’t enough liquid.  You don’t want everything totally submerged, but there shouldn’t be whole potatoes just sitting out in the wind.  This is the only tricky part: if it seems like the meat is pretty much done and you really can’t get your vegetables in the liquid to cook, you can actually pull the meat out, wrap it tightly in tinfoil to keep warm, and then there should be plenty of room to cook the veg.  I end up doing this often.  If it looks like there’s room for everything with the meat in the pot, then just let it cook.  Either way, it’ll take about another 1/2 an hour.

• When everything is done, remove the meat (if you didn’t already) and the vegetables with a slotted spoon.  In a glass measuring cup thingie, blend 1/3 C. of water into 2 Tbsp. of Wondra flour slowly, making first a paste to make sure there aren’t any lumps.  While stirring the cooking liquid in the dutch oven, pour in the Wondra slurry.  It should get to the desired thickness within 5 minutes of low simmering.  If not, add an additional small amount of Wondra slurry.  Add salt and pepper to taste and serve.

• If I may be so bold as to recommend how you eat something, I really insist that you put everything on a single plate and drown it in gravy.

• Wrap remaining beef, potatoes and carrots in foil and wait for the next day.  See tomorrow’s post to see why.

¹ It is: quickly saute some onions and garlic, add 1 C. pearled barley and 2 C. broth, set to simmer. 15 minutes later add a giant pile of cubed root vegetables (I looooove parsnips) and maybe some sturdy greens like kale, then let cook another 30 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste. Eat until queasy.