Anger Burger

It’s foodblogger meme week here at Anger Burger, I guess.  Now, when I first read about this, I remember thing “No.  That won’t work.”  Because why would kale crisp after just a short stint in the oven?  Wouldn’t it just wilt?  And so, because the only thing standing between me and truth was a $1.99 bunch of kale, off I went.

I concede that this is definitely an overcrowded pan, but I’m lazy.  If you want perfectly crispy pieces, split a bunch of kale between two baking sheets.

And behold, it’s true: “roasting” kale turns it into fragile crisp that I wouldn’t call a “chip” in front of a child unless you wanted to hear about how much it isn’t a chip for the rest of your life.  In this instance I think “chip” just refers to its addictive quality, and it’s like nothing else I’ve ever eaten.  The pieces totally shatter and disintegrate in your mouth with thicker bits lingering behind to chew on like some strange vegetable jerky.  The flavor is almost malty and can easily be manipulated by adding aromatics before cooking.

At Bon Appétit they roasted whole long strips of Tuscan kale for a striking if probably messy snack.  Their method of much lower cooking for a longer period is probably what ensured the pieces being so evenly dehydrated.  Still, the Anger Burger method of crowding the pan and then haphazardly dumping the whole pile onto a plate for faster mouth-cramming during a DVD of Bones works just fine, too.

Fragile Kale Shards
two people can easily polish off a single bunch of kale like this, so make more than you think you need.

1 bunch kale of any variety
2 Tbs. olive oil
big pinch of salt
pepper

• Preheat oven to 350.
• Wash kale and fling dry because you don’t have a salad spinner and forgot to wash it ahead of time.
• With your fingers, tear the kale into “bite-size” pieces, whatever that means.  Don’t use the rigid center rib of the kale (though these are perfectly edible, they won’t roast crisp – you can save them, if you’re that kind of person, to cut into small chunks and braise with butter and some fine champagne vinegar later and pretend like you didn’t totally just cook up what basically amounts to garbage).
• In a large bowl, use your hands to toss the kale with the oil and salt and pepper, make sure each leaf is evenly coated.  Spread onto baking sheet, taking care to avoid any pile-ups.
• Bake for 10-15 minutes, watching closely to avoid burning.  It’s okay to give it all a toss at some point with a heat-resistant implement to make sure that the pieces are all drying out equally, but really, even the not-so-crispy chewy ones are totally addicting, like the soggy french fries that are actually my favorite.
• Eat warm or at room temperature.

Here are some other flavors that you can use to vary the kale around, many of which I’ve tried (”Asian kale shards” being a personal favorite, with sesame oil and togarashi, the Japanese spice blend) :

sesame oil
togarashi
gomashio (Japanese condiment blend of ground sesame seeds and salt)
balsamic vinegar
hot chili oil (just a little!)
crushed red chili flakes (like from the pizzeria)
a tiny drop of truffle oil  or a pinch of truffle salt (fancy!)
Italian seasoning
lemon pepper seasoning
a little sugar (salty sweet!)
garlic powder
Cajun seasoning
finely grated parmesan cheese added about half way through cooking time
replace the oil with any oil-based salad dressing (think vinaigrette)

Anyway, you get the idea.  Go crazy.