Anger Burger

I feel kind of dirty for doing this, but it’s nevertheless something I can’t get off my mind: a list of kitchen gift ideas.  To make myself feel better, I am proud to say that most of this stuff will be almost too late too order for Christmas and certainly too late to order for Hanukkah.  Take that!

1. Sur La Table Melamine Mixing Bowls

For some reason these give me a massive kitchen boner, the red set in particular.  Is it the stacking?  The clean rims?  The Goldilocks not-too-shallow and not-too-steep profile?  I dunno, but I’d sure love to replace my heap of mismatched steel bowls with these.  Did I mention they’re only $30?  They are.  Sigh.

2. Wood’s Boiled Cider

Jesus, will I ever stop talking about this shit?  Nope.  It’s gone into my pies, tomato sauces, Malt-o-Meal, salad dressing, onto pancakes, et cetera et cetera.  It’s not cheap and I certainly don’t recommend using it as a base concentrate for apple cider as their website suggests (though as a cocktail addition it would be incredible) but as an ingredient kept floating around in the fridge, I find myself adding it to — and improving — more recipes than I ever thought possible.  In fact it just occurred to me: mixed with powdered sugar, it’d make the perfect glaze for my sherry spice cake.  VICTORY!  In all seriousness – this is just literally boiled cider, a reduction of apple juice.  You can probably make it yourself provided you have a stock pot, some cider, and some way to make a flame.  On the other hand, Wood’s is a family-run artisanal business that has been doing the exact same thing the exact same way for over 120 years, and I have a kind of awe for that, as well as a well-documented predilection for extreme laziness.

3. Aunty Lilikoi Passion Fruit Products

This, like the boiled cider, is one of those luxury goods that I sort of cringe at just because shipping makes it unsatisfying to order just one item, thus making the endeavor into question of monetary flexibility, but as a bona fide passionfruit addict I have to say: this is the best you can get in the United States.  The bottles of pure passionfruit juice make amazing cheesecakes and ice cream (true: I pour it straight over vanilla ice cream and let it sort of freeze on it and then dig in, nomnomnom!), cocktails (use instead of lemon juice and whatever you’re making is now the tropical version) and salad dressing.  Once, my mom and I made a dressing for apple and shredded carrot salad that was just a little unflavored yogurt, passionfruit juice, mustard, poppyseeds, salt and sugar and it was absolutely incredible.  People gobbled it up.  And by people I mean me.

4. Now Designs Floursack Towels

These have been around for ages and with good reason: they are useful beyond compare but Now Design took it a step further and made them in a range of bright colors.  Normally flour sack towels are either natural cotton or bleached white, both of which I’ve had and both of which turned a decomposed-looking shade of zombie skin after just a few weeks of regular use and no amount of bleaching could get them presentable.  Of course these are three times the cost ($9 – $11 for three) of plain ones, but I’ve thrown away two sets of skanky plain ones and still have my old Now Design ones.

5.  Vintage Kitchen Timer

I bought one of these kitchen timers on sale from Anthropologie a while back, and it has turned into one of my favorite kitchen gadgets.  I bought it mostly because the blue was nearly a match for my Tiffany-blue kitchen at the time, but it turns out to be the handiest damn thing.  It’s magnetic, too, but really I like it because of the analog component; the ratcheting around of the timer makes me feel like I’m gettin’ down to business.