Anger Burger

OMGyouguysWTF?  You ever have that thing where you’re gone for like three weeks and when you get back home your boyfriend has bought a bunch of weird groceries¹ and has too many freelance jobs stacked up and the next thing you know you’re trying to reorganize the kitchen and do 12 hours worth of research for him?  Thrilling.

Last night I wanted to make some kind of casserole so I could pull a heat-n-eat when he got home at whatever horrible time (9:30, last night), and so out came the old recipes from my bookmark stash.  The one I’d wanted to try for a few weeks was this kind of unremarkable but alluring potato and cauliflower gratin from Dutch Girl Cooking.

Lookit my purdy bowl!  More on that later.

Foremost, I knew that I wasn’t going to parboil the cauliflower and potato, I was going to roast it.  There’s just no question that roasting provides a better flavor, and something about it seems less… I don’t know.  Steamy.  I don’t have a good explanation.

Secondly, I knew I wasn’t going to put tomatoes in it.  As mentioned previously on Anger Burger, I have a disease that doesn’t react well to tomatoes.  Not always, but often enough that unless I really want them, I don’t eat them.

So in summary, I found myself at the usual crossroads, flirting with the devil: That looks great!  I’m gonna totally alter it in nearly every way!

The result was a casserole that looked absolutely lovely, right up until I put the cheese sauce on it.

And then it kind of looked like upchuck.  This photo is a little more flattering than the actual more pinkish, chunky tone the whole thing had, a twist that so irritated me that I never took a photo of the finished product.  Because honestly, it wasn’t any better looking.  It was worse.  It looked like baked upchuck.

But surprise!  It tastes awesome.  I just have to figure some way to make it that doesn’t make me think of regurgitating.  My first thought is: don’t bake it.  Just stir the vegetables into the sauce on the stovetop, but… I think that might even be worse.  The second solution is: back off on the paprika.  It doesn’t add that much flavor, and it is the sole culprit for the sickly pink tone.  Lastly, make it like Dutch Girl makes it: broil the top for nice brown bits and then sprinkle it with parsley.  Parsley is distracting.

But don’t let me discourage you from making this, it was really very good.  It’d be perfect for a potluck for the blind.

Cauliflower and Potato Gratin
i think this is one of those “even people who don’t like cauliflower will love this!” recipes, even though it kind of gives me the willies to type that.  then again, I think oven-roasted cauliflower is magical.

1 head cauliflower
about 1 lb. potatoes / 4 medium red potatoes, give or take
1 medium leek, finely sliced
1 clove garlic, finely diced
2 Tbsp. olive oil
2 Tbsp. flour
1 1/2 C. milk
8 oz. gouda cheese, grated
1/2 tsp. sweet paprika
1/2 1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg
salt & pepper

• Chop and roast the cauliflower and potatoes at 400° for about 15 minutes until very nearly done.  I prefer tossing the raw pieces in a bowl with a little olive oil OR giving a good solid coat of olive oil to the pan.  The goal, of course, is to get them nice and golden-flavored but not entirely cooked, hence the pretty high temp.  When done, turn the heat down to 350°.

• Meanwhile, in a saucepan, saute the leeks and garlic in the olive oil until softened, about 5 – 7 minutes.  Add the flour and cook over medium heat about 2 minutes.  Stirring quickly, add the milk slowly, take care to get rid of lumps as you go.  You also might not need all the milk.   Keep adding it until the texture of tomato soup from a can (prepared – does that make sense?).  Add the seasonings – as much sweet paprika as you dare, the nutmeg, and a little salt and pepper.

• Just before you’re ready to use it, add 2/3 of the grated gouda to the sauce and stir through to melt.  As a side note, I really don’t like the smoked gouda, because I have a problem with smoke flavor.  But if you like smoke flavor, use that.  I don’t.  Is all I’m saying.

• Layer the cauliflower and potatoes into a 9×13 baking dish (no need to be fancy here, it’ll all be buried) and pour over the cheese sauce.  Top the gratin with the remaining 1/3 grated gouda.  Bake in the 350° degree oven for about 20-30 minutes, or until bubbling and browned.  It’ll almost certainly need a jaunt under the broiler to get those nice brown bits going.

¹ Almond milk, namely. I threw it out because I thought a houseguest bought it while I was gone, but it turned out Mike just had a hankering for it. In the event that you think he had a sudden urge for healthful eating, I’d also like to point out that he ate a burrito filled with french fries. TRUE.