Anger Burger

Black Black Gum – The Giveaway for the Discerning Blog Reader

Posted by Sunday on May 16, 2010 at 10:06 pm

Back in December I bragged about a batch of fudge.  Remember this?  And in the comments my friend Dan — who is also Anger Burger’s Master Tech Geek and therefore invaluable to me in a way that borders on weird, mostly in that I haven’t even updated to WordPress 2.9.2 because I don’t want to bother Dan if the site breaks —  told me that he made a mean fudge himself and that I’d have to try it.  I blasted off some comment about why didn’t he send me some.  I think I may have ruined the punchline of this post, but I’m sitting around yesterday all lah-te-dah, when the mail arrives.

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What is this?  I have no idea.  Why the hell would Dan mail me something?  Is it a bill for the site?  Is the bill really so big that he needed to USPS Priority it to me?

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WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE!  I mean, actually, my very first thought was What the hell? because I didn’t remember about the fudge.  And then I actually shouted out loud (I have a witness) “I HAD A MEMORY!”  And indeed I did!  Dan said he’d mail me fudge!  And then he did!  I swear, if I didn’t already feel like I take advantage of this guy, I certainly do now.  Well, in a moment, because I’m going to make a bold claim: Dan, it’s good.  But can it go head to head with mine?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  We both know the two words that come next.

FUDGE.  BATTLE.

I don’t know when.  I don’t know how.  But Fudge Battle is coming.  It’s unavoidable.  And afterward, I hope you’ll still fix my code when I break it beyond repair.

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As a thanks to Dan, I want to send him something.  A pack of gum.  But not just any gum.  I haven’t yet written a love letter to Black Black, the best gum in the world, and that’s a shame.  If you’re the kind of person that spits out an Altoid for being too hot, you’re going to hate Black Black.  It’s like having a -15° winter storm come into your room while you’re sleeping and kick you in the face.  Your eyes water uncontrollably.  People around you gasp for breath and cry out for help.  Flowers drop petals.  Cats hiss.  Planes 30,000 feet above you experience turbulence.  And you’re asking, how can this possibly get any better?  Like so:  it’s also caffeinated.

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I’m sending Dan a pack of this miracle, and while I’m at it I’m going to send a pack to TWO OF YOU AS WELL!  Two lucky bastards other than Dan will have the wonderment that is Lotte’s Black Black.  You should know the drill by now, but in case you don’t:

1) You may only comment once.  If you comment more than once I will delete all but one of your comments.  To be perfectly clear: you will not be disqualified, you’ll just have all but one of your comments deleted to ensure you get the same chances as everyone else.

2) I don’t care what you say.

3) Contest closes at 8pm PST on Tuesday night – any comments made after 8pm will not qualify.

4) Anyone may enter.

That’s it!  And then off in the mail it goes.  Don’t thank me.  Thank Dan.

***CONTEST CLOSED!***

Stand by for results!

May 16th, 2010 | Drama!, Obsessed

26 Responses to Black Black Gum – The Giveaway for the Discerning Blog Reader

  1. Dan says:

    I hope the fudge survived the shipping alright. It looks like it arrived in one piece. I should note that any fudge I make will never contain nuts. I prefer my plant ovaries fleshy and juicy (and staying the hell away from my fudge).

    Also, I can’t believe it took me 5 months to make fudge.

    [Sunday note: This was an oddly disturbing comment.]

  2. Henry says:

    Fudgebattle?!?!?! I’m excited.

    And Oh! Gum Please! :D

  3. A Curious Rabbit says:

    Winning an addressed envelope from Sunday filled with BlackBlack would be the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire United States life. Fudge is nice as well.

    [Sunday note: Wow! The greatest? Really? Even better than terrible public transportation, overpriced health care and the Patriot Act? Now that I think about it, you might be right.]

  4. quagmire says:

    I can attest to the wonderment of Black Black, Sunday gave me my first hit some time ago and now I’m checking out my rehab options. It could easily have been named Crack Crack.
    Chewer beware! And share it with your parents, especially if they are slow and have the rheumatiz.
    (I plan to forfeit if Randy Randomizer picks me … I won’t Bogart that gum my friend …)

  5. Sarah says:

    Yes please!

  6. KevinQ says:

    Ooh, crazy gum.

    K

  7. kari says:

    looking forward to future fudge giveaways. please?

    [Sunday note: A great idea (and it also gave me another idea that will have to wait to be shared) but one for cooler months I think.]

  8. C Fierce says:

    Alright it’s totally on now. I OWN THIS ONE.

  9. Shirley says:

    Website fixers are about as valuable as a really good morrocan restaurant (and who could live without that…not me). Oh and I would like to win the gum to give to my dad. He is getting on in his years and I think it would put a pep in his step.

    [Sunday note: As my dad mentioned, it’s pretty ideal for those among us that require some pepping of the stepping. Just a little caffeine, but it hits instantly because your mouth actually absorbs caffeine faster than your stomach does. That and the powerful peppermint/menthol thing, I swear it’s like stepping out into sub-freezing temperatures. I hope your dad doesn’t have heart problems.]

  10. Maro says:

    ^^No, C Fierce. MINE!!

  11. Jill says:

    I am confident I will win this because the gum actually sounds a little frightening to me and I only win things that are painful or creepy.

    [Sunday note: Did I mention it chews up grey? It does.]

  12. talia says:

    dumpling soup FOR BREAKFAST!

    [Sunday note: This is an ideal comment. Everyone, you could learn something from Talia.]

  13. Lissa says:

    Gum!

  14. Heather says:

    Somehow I thought that the giveaway would have something to do with chocolate and not icy hot caffeinated gum…both are very exciting though.

    [Sunday note: Come now, do you still expect me to make sense?]

  15. cassie says:

    this gum sounds like it’d be just right for me.

  16. Carrie Anne says:

    Ew, I hate gum. Gum of any sort is my nemesis. We stay up late plotting ways to destroy each other. I feel compelled to tell you this because damn, that just meant I entered your give away.

    If I win, send it to number 17, whomever that may be.

    [Sunday note: Roger that. My friend Marika can’t chew gum because it gives her anxiety, so I understand. I got really used to chewing gum when I worked at Border’s because I was self-conscious about my breath (I was chugging coffee all morning) when I leaned in close to people to talk to them about books but also because the act of chewing makes me actually feel invigorated. Even non-caffeinated gum chewing gives me pep. Bizarre, but true. Of course, five months later my manager pulled me aside and snarled “Spit out your gum!”and I was furious. You know, because this isn’t second grade. I’m making minimum wage at age 30. I can chew gum if I fucking want to.]

  17. Theresa says:

    Black Black?
    I made fudge once.. It was grainy and nasty and I threw it away after all that hard work. I don’t know if I can ever put myself through it again.

    [Sunday note: This is a typical Williams family experience; holiday fudge making goes badly, someone scrapes the failure into the trashcan and then we eat cookies. Merry Christmas!]

  18. helen says:

    sorry Im being so juvenile but I am giggling all silly like a teenage Justin Beiber fan or something thinking he he he fudge packer.

    [Sunday note: Trust me, it was difficult not to make fudge packer jokes during the entire post. In retrospect, I’m not sure why I refrained.]

  19. Anina says:

    When you talk of this gum, I wonder if it is similar to Black Jack gum? Beacuse it is a personal favorite.

    [Sunday note: Sadly, no. I love Black Jack! But doesn’t taste similar at all.]

  20. peach says:

    I used to see Black Black at the market when i was a kid and always wondered what kind of flavor it was, but i never did try it!

  21. Liana says:

    It looks like ninja gum. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want ninja gum?

  22. Clair says:

    I want my eyeballs frozen! Me! Me! Me!
    Yaaay! I didn’t miss the short bus this time when it sped down my street, threatening to hit several of my neighbors’ children, who are actually pretty cool. That metaphor got derailed, didn’t it? Oh, well.

  23. Kimberly says:

    Sounds awesome… Can I still enter? I have no idea what day it is today… Tuesday? Wednesday? Hell maybe it’s Sunday. Weird eh?

  24. titus says:

    Never heard of this black black.

  25. Tom says:

    Dang that gum looks good.