HULK SLEEPY!
Last week I talked about successfully eating a salad and the small ticker-tape parade that resulted. Well! Let me tell you. All is still right with the world, because my body sent me an email re: it still doesn’t like fiber.
Specifically, I went out to acquire the most nutritious cereal I could find, the Ezekiel sprouted grain cereal. I have some hesitation in buying Ezekiel products (specifically: taking nutrition suggestions from a work of fiction causes much eye-rolling on my part) but until there’s an atheist sprouted grain cereal I’ll have to make do. And maybe it was the burning of righteousness in my bowel, but most likely it was the fiber: this did not go down well. Crohn’s monster say NO.
Also: I bought it in part because I wanted Grape Nuts. Why not buy Grape Nuts? Because I thought it had high fructose corn syrup in it. Does it actually? Well, no. So, I’m a moron.
To greater success, I bought this:
I’ve been a little obsessed with nutrient-packing lately in the hopes that it’ll make me feel better. I’m not sure what’s going on with my health right now, but I suspect my body is changing how it has an allergy attack. Let me back up a little.
When I was a young teen I had demonic-level hay fever attacks, the kind where I’d throw up stomachfuls of drainage. Sorry about that — were you trying to keep from gagging? I should have warned you. I missed school and became more of an introvert than I’d been previously, which was very. Allergy shots cured me for over 15 years (great, considering the average period of effectiveness is half that), but lately I think I’m having entirely new symptoms; instead of sneezing, runny nose and post-nasal drip, I’ve developed just the post nasal drip and what I call “mysterious retardation.” My throat is sore all the time from the drip, and my ability to focus is totally kaput: at night I can barely sleep and during the day I can barely wake. I’m entering into the grey fog of not-quite-insomnia, which is leaving my brain good for little more than watching old Star Trek movies on Netflix and trying (and failing) to knit a dog sweater. Not awesome.
Almond butter! I’m getting to it. So the allergy thing combined with the Crohn’s is no good at all, and part of this is a complete loss of appetite. I sit down to eat a meal and halfway through am nauseated. I don’t like it one bit, I tell you. In an effort to combat this I’ve really stepped up the quality of my meals: more vegetables, more healthy oils, more protein. Enter: raw almond butter. Almonds lose nearly all their vitamin A during roasting, among other nutrients, and I like the taste of the raw ones anyway. Also, it’s good for my IMPENDING HEART ATTACK to pay $8 for a single jar of almond butter. If I got the organic stuff I’d be paying $20. UGH.
I can’t tell if its working yet. I’m angry? That’s a good sign, right?
June 2nd, 2010 | Crohn's disease
You should be able to find bulk raw almond butter, the kind where you grind as much as you want right there on the spot or the kind that comes in big white buckets. Call the co-ops!
Hey maybe we watched the same online “diet” video or it’s just a strange coincidence but I recently bought some almond butter and today I picked up a loaf of sprouted grain bread! First time I’ve had either. The almond butter is actually pretty tasty. I haven’t tried the sprouted grain bread yet.
Weird, I just picked up the jumbo jar of this at Costco, same brand just not raw, for something like 6 bucks. I developed an affection for nut and seed butters of all kinds in the Hippified 60′s. Earth Mamas were big on tahini back then, put the shit in everything! My first love will always be just good ol’ peanut butter (as a sammich with blackberry jam).
Tell the folks how your grandpa Vern’s got you addicted to onion and peanut butter sammiches! It’s always good for a string of comments, heh.)
Catastro: At my local Whole Foods they only had roasted almonds in the grind-your-own section, and the nearest co-op is not in walking distance. So, yeah, I’m paying for my own laziness. I’m used to it.
Theresa: Say what?! I want to know what this online diet video is, because I haven’t seen it. So: strange coincidence! I’ve had the sprouted grain bread and I like it (I really like Ezekiel’s raisin bread), but that was the first time I’ve tried the sprouted grain cereal.
Quagmire: And again with the coincidences! I went through a sunflower seed butter phase, the stuff from Trader Joe’s. I couldn’t stop eating it. And I plan on writing an ode to the PB&O someday, believe you me.
Ok so since the cereal is written like the Bible verse (with : between the 4 and 9) I just had to look it up…and man, it’s good. I think if you follow the instructions you’ll be all better.
Ezekiel 4:9-17 (New International Version)
9 “Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side. 10 Weigh out twenty shekels [a] of food to eat each day and eat it at set times. 11 Also measure out a sixth of a hin [b] of water and drink it at set times. 12 Eat the food as you would a barley cake; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.” 13 The LORD said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.”
And fer Christ’s fucking sakes, do not forget to bake it in front of your neighbors using dried human shit to fuel your oven, this is very important, ok?
These are the kind of words of ‘wisdom’ that spoketh the lord, huh? (I purposely use lower-case, to be as ‘in vain’ as I can!).
Small wonder this planet is in the pitiful shape that we find ourselves … and it’s not only the christians who follow bullshit like this.
my memory fails me but my history button won’t…. let me go look for the link :)
found it! http://www.thedietsolutionprogram.com/burnfatra.aspx
oh and she’s got a really annoying voice but the info was pretty good if you can stand to listen to it.
Jill: Yeah, I was trying not to turn this into an all-out religious persecution, but: the Ezekiel passage is some seriously cockamamie shit. Also: I’m certain my human excrement will not burn.
Theresa: That was actually an interesting video, if too PowerPoint for me to actually watch. But I listened to it while doing some other things and I can’t say that I have an argument with it. I mean, I think that people need to eat fat but avoid processed foods. I know personally people who eat tons of “fat free cream cheese” and “low-fat muffins” and can’t figure out why they don’t lose weight. I wish more diets emphasized this kind of eating: eat as much of real foods as you need to in order to feel full, don’t bother with calories. So yeah, not bad at all. And what a funny coincidence that those are the foods I’m gravitating toward right now.
It’s not possible that you’re, um, pregnant, is it? ‘Cause that’s what it feels like. Fatigue, nausea, a need for nutrient cramming…
Making your own nut butters is awesome. You can mix shit up to your heart’s content, right in your very own food processor. I particularly loved a mix of roasted cashews, raw almonds and hemp seeds. This is awesome: cashew butter spread on a piece of herb bread toast and then topped with slices of avocado. I can’t get anyone else to make this simple food item, but I think if someone else would try it, it would catch on like Pop Rocks in 4th grade.
I’m angry at your immune system. It’s buggy as all hell.
Kate, no. I mean I can’t say with 100% certainty since certain… uh… biologies are all functioning… and stuff… but I’m going to say no.
I am going to try your crazy cashew avocado stuff! It may have to wait a while because I’m about to leave my own kitchen for a few weeks, but I WILL eventually try it. I always try to get people to taste my all-time favorite sandwich and they rarely do: a peanut butter and raw onion sandwich. It’s so insanely delicious. If I had to take one food with me to a deserted island, it would probably be a PB&O sandwich.
If you’re still looking for a solution for allergies, google NAET. It’s a rather new-agey type therapy that sounds more like a scam than something that would actually work, but it did solve my brother’s hay fever and my own allergy to elm trees. I haven’t had issues with allergies for a few years now.