Anger Burger

Waffle Makes It All Better

Posted by Sunday on Aug 26, 2010 at 10:05 pm

I swear I’m not going to be the blogger that tells you that she’s got some secret shenanigans going on in her life and how she can’t tell you about it but she can tell you that it is very stressful and important.  If I were that kind of blogger I’d assure you that I’d tell you all about it just as soon as I could (like the time a ventriloquism museum tried to sue me and I had to hire a lawyer¹) and afterwards you’d be all, pfft, was that all she was freaking out about? But, like I said: not that blogger.  I’m the kind of blogger that stuffs her face with $15 worth of waffles and yells at her boyfriend “YOU’RE THE SHITTIEST PHOTOGRAPHER!” on a street corner while spraying powdered sugar out of her mouth.  I wish I were kidding.

It’s like this: what would make a waffle better?  They’re already at the upper end of the awesomeness scale, but there’s room for improvement.  Perhaps if they were made from a denser yeasted dough rather than a batter, and were then just rolled in balls of pearl sugar so that when they were in the iron they turned chewy and caramelized.  At this point I’d say yes sir, you have achieved over-awesomenating.  Huzzah.

A restaurant in my neighborhood recently opened that serves Liege waffles, called Shaky Alibi.  I have to get this out of the way now so I can focus on the waffles but: for such a cheeky name, the place was naptime serious.   I wasn’t feeling it.  But also: who cares?  Waffles.  In the above photo you can see where the unmelted chunks of sugar remain, and I assure you this is a lovely thing: they are crunchy and sweet, and most of them have caramelized.  The texture of the waffle itself is fascinating, somewhere between a good, soft British scone and an American sticky bun.  The exterior is crispy and breadlike, but the interior has heft and grain.  In fact, the whole thing has heft.  It’s like a good-sized puppy.

Mike the Viking did actually take some good photos of me, but this is the one I identify with.

Now, the interesting thing is that they’ll make you a savory sandwich from these waffles.  So, the same sugared waffle, but sliced open and filled with turkey or ham (we chose ham) and a variety of cheeses (we chose swiss).  The Viking was reluctant to declare like-at-first-bite, but as a card carrying Monte Cristo addict, I was preemptively on board.  If I’d had some blackberry jam on the side I’d be dipping that fucker.  <– I can say that about a lot of things, now that I think about it.

Eventually he said he’d like it if it were saltier, to balance the sugar, which I can’t argue against.  I mean, saltier, sure.

But still we are not to where the problem lies.  FIFTEEN DOLLARS FOR THAT.  Well, $9 for the sandwich, and $6 for the plain waffle.  It’s a shame, too, because they are delicious.  But … I don’t know.  We kept discussing it like I imagine kind-hearted people discuss whether or not to stop eating meat.  Which is to say, with feeling.   On one hand, we kept rationalizing that we were eating an artisan product made fresh.  It’s no supermarket croissant we’re talking about here, we’re talking about a hot-from-the-iron yeasted pastry.  On the other hand, FIFTEEN DOLLARS.  No.  It’s like, I just paid $6 for what amounts to a really, really awesome donut.  Well, okay.  Wait, is that okay?  I don’t know!  If it were $4 I’ d be all over that shit.  I’d be back there right this second.

But $6?  I don’t know!  I still can’t decide.  Rather, I can say for certain: the sandwich is out.  The waffle itself is the star, and the ham and cheese present themselves as merely a $3 distraction.

Now, if it had a big piece of breakfast sausage and an egg in the middle…

¹ 100% true story. Ask me about it in person; for all I know they’re still standing by with their coterie of lawyers, seething.

August 26th, 2010 | Eatin' Fancy

12 Responses to Waffle Makes It All Better

  1. Ami says:

    Damn that looks good. Kind of reminds me of the funnel cake I get at the fair. I do enjoy fair food…can’t wait. I think this is the year I will sample chocolate covered bacon. But will pass on the deep fried butter stick. A girl has to draw the line somewhere…. Anyway, your waffle looks super good but I think I would have gone au natural—without the swine and swiss. Too much going on in my mouth. It’s too bad they don’t bake maple syrup right into the waffle. Now that would be the shit..hand held waffle without the sticky syrup mess but still get the flavor of the syrup. Perfection.

  2. Carrie Anne says:

    OMG, it’s like the Double Down of breakfast! The double rainbow of breakfast really!

    So I sort of want to visit LA just so you can take me to all these food trucks.

  3. Megan says:

    Damn it! I ate fast food for lunch and felt like I was really treating myself.

  4. cassie says:

    since breakfast/pastry products are probably my #1 splurge, and by the sounds of this waffle, i’d say the $6 is worth it. sandwich is a total rip-off, though.

  5. How are they going to slice a waffle in half for the sandwich? Motherfuckers are on some cheap-ass tip. Two waffles or go home.

  6. Sunday says:

    Ami: That’s the thing – it doesn’t taste like a regular waffle at all, it tastes like a sticky bun. I’m pretty sure it even had a little cinnamon in it. But what has maple syrup ever screwed up? NUTHIN.

    Carrie Anne: It’s not even a food truck! It’s a brick-and-mortar, that’s what made me kind of nervous. I’m not sure how long they can hold it together just with waffles.

    Catastro: I’m not sure I could have even gotten my mouth around two waffles. When I saw him slicing in half I was feeling pretty judgmental about it, but when we hate the finished product, I felt like it was the right call. Oh what am I talking about, I wanted two waffles.

  7. Carrie Anne says:

    Ah Jesus. I best get to LA quicklike.

  8. There’s a waffle cart by my house, and I drunkenly, but casually asked them about their waffle sandwich and the waffle count upon which it is built, and those guys scoffed mightily when I suggested that some other place cuts a waffle in half to make theirs. I’ll have to actually get one sometime, but in the meantime, i’m just sayin’. . .

    Hope you’re feeling better!

  9. Sunday says:

    I love that you’ve drunkenly got my back 1000 miles away.

  10. Pingback: Anger Burger » Blog Archive » Waffle Battle Fight

  11. Larry says:

    That sugar is pearl sugar and is specially added to the batter 10 minutes or less before the batter is put in the waffle iron so that it doesn’t melt. It is what separates the liege waffle from other Belgian waffles.

  12. HB says:

    I find it funny that you are talking about the price. We just had a Liege waffle shop open here in Ann Arbor and everyone here is saying the same thing, it’s expensive but good!

    Must be in the Liege waffle shop manual to make it expensive like that.

    I enjoyed your post thanks!

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