Anger Burger

So Hey, What’s Up

Posted by Sunday on Sep 19, 2010 at 10:13 pm

A lot of stuff has happened!  And nearly none of it is interesting.  In no particular order:

  • Why is the Where the Wild Things Are movie so profoundly bad?  I was overwhelmed literally within seconds of this film, nearly obliterated by feelings of displacement and unhappiness.  In fact, it’s still playing – I couldn’t even wait until it was over to register my discontent.   All I could think was: what if  Spielberg c. 1983 had made this film?  I can tell you one thing for sure: the entire 15 minute introduction would have happened in under five minutes.  You’d be introduced to the neighborhood, the harried and likable single mom, the older sibling who loves the younger sibling but has his/her own things going on, and then we’d get into the action.  Secondarily – isn’t the kid playing Max just a little too old?  Everything about book Max that was cheery and joyous (despite his anger) was in the film grating and uncomfortable.  Instead of: this kid needs a time out, you have this kid needs his Ritalin.  And we haven’t even gotten to the Wild Things yet!  It all goes downhill from there.  With lines like “Are you here to take the loneliness away?” Mike in I actually looked at each other in horror.  I have a stomach ache now.  I mean fuck, I watched Scanners yesterday and had a more lighthearted time.
  • I got really sick!  And not from the sushi.  It was definitely the flu.  The day that I thought I was really going to have to go to the urgent care clinic and maybe even get some IV fluids I suddenly and magically got better.   Still, all I ate for three straight days was udon soup and some tater tots.  She’s healed!  It’s a miracle.
  • It took one day of being shaky and light sensitive and happy to be alive before I could do anything else.
  • Then I did laundry and bought groceries for what felt like all day long.
  • Then I got some work!  When work comes, you do it.  For two days I did work.  It was boring.  I lost a bunch of data on an Excel sheet and threw a tantrum and it ended up taking me only 10 minutes to redo it.
  • I had to run some errands at the mall and stopped into Crate and Barrel for no reason and bought this and this dishtowel.  They are so amazing in person!  I don’t know about the longevity, but the colors are great and lord knows I normally hate color.  You think I’m kidding and you’re wrong.
  • Previously, I read Packing for Mars, which I really, really loved.  And it solved a should-have-been-readily-solvable mystery for me: why I get Crohn’s attacks while flying in planes.  Turns out!  And this is so stupidly obvious, I really don’t like admitting how amazed I was at the answer, but gas expands at high altitudes.  WHICH I KNEW.  And like, I don’t know if you’ve read my “about” page up there, but on it there’s a photo I took of myself at the top of Mauna Kea (which is like 13,000-something feet), where I also had the worst Crohn’s attack of my life.  Everyone including myself thought I had a perforated bowel.  And of all the fucking doctors I told “Yeah, I was at 13,000-something feet and BAM!  All of a sudden it was the worst attack ever,” each and every doctor just got a puzzled look and went “Huh!  And were you eating lots of fruit up there?”  And now, years later, I am shouting NO I WASN’T EATING FRUIT, BUT ALL THE GAS IN MY BOWEL EXPANDED AND CAUSED ENOUGH PRESSURE TO CREATE A SPASTIC CASCADE THAT ALMOST KILLED ME.  So.  Note to self:  no high-altitude living.  Roger that.
  • I may have eaten a little too much fruit earlier that day, too.
  • I baked some apple bread and it made me sad.  I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.  But I didn’t scream about it.  See following note.
  • Some day I’ll tell you about my neighbor drama, but there was another incident where she screamed like she was being murdered, about 6 people called the police (true!) and then when the police (four squad cars!) arrived she acted like we were fucking assholes for calling them.  Not only is this not the first time this has happened, it is not the second or third time.  And why was she screaming?  She was sad.

And that’s it.  More tomorrow.

September 19th, 2010 | Drama!, Totally Unrelated

6 Responses to So Hey, What’s Up

  1. Ami says:

    Wow you have had a lot going on the last few days. Glad to hear you turned the corner on the flu thing. I still think the sushi was the culprit that brought about your near death experience.
    Good to know about the expansion of gas in high altitudes thing. Will plan accordingly the next time I fly since I am gassy by nature. Seriously, I can fart songs.

  2. KLC says:

    Yes, Scanners! The unborn have never been so deadly.

  3. Becca says:

    I LOVE YOUR NEW TOWELS.

    As in I may have to stop boycotting C&B (doesn’t that sound nicer than “I’ve never purchased anything there?”) and get a few!

    Still haven’t made it to the post office yet. /lazy

  4. Marika says:

    I think maybe you cause screaming insane people… remember that women in the Library in Wellington? Probably your fault.

  5. Theresa says:

    We live in Colorado and we fart death!

  6. Sunday says:

    Marika: Ohmygod. I’d totally forgotten about that! Oh man. I had completely jettisoned how horrifically awkward that whole incident was. Did I even talk about that here? If anyone is reading these comments, this is a 100% true summary: a woman at a busy library cafe sat with what I SWEAR we thought was a DEAD BABY while sobbing hysterically over it — crying so hard that she had to be held upright over her table by her male companion. We were in total shock and didn’t know what to do because they were making such an effort to remain unseen. And all the while while she sobbed and slumped, she held this limp form in her arms. She sobbed so hard she began to gag. Still the young man just held her upright and kept himself from making eye contact with anyone else in the cafe.

    Eventually the baby woke up and cried and the woman cleaned herself up and they left.

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