Posted by Sunday on Oct 29, 2010 at 5:42 am
My moving day, presented as a bullet list:
- Donuts. I only ate two out of a dozen and then got a tummyache. When did I become such a pussy? The rest were given to the moving guys.
- If you’re in the Los Angeles area, I highly recommend the Real Rock ‘n’ Roll Movers. The whole experience was great and we’ll happily use them again NEVER BECAUSE I’M NEVER MOVING AGAIN. But if for some reason I need to move a lot of stuff, I’d hire them again.
- Dewds, we own way too much shit and it’s putting a very slight self-loathing spin on my otherwise joyous moving day. Two people and a dog (so, three people) shouldn’t fill a large moving truck to the brim. DUMB. the worst part is that I kept looking for things to get rid of as we moved, but everything was like, well, what about the apocalypse? I’m going to want that extra glassware after the apocalypse. But for reals: all I got rid of was a stack of magazines, an extra (!) tea kettle and a badly chipped vase. I’m an asshole.
- Actually no, the worst part is that we need to buy a few things and I seriously cannot stomach the idea of that right now. For example: we need a vacuum. And my beloved kitchen worktable is officially too large for the new kitchen, so I’ll have to get a new one. I can’t roll out pie dough on a tile counter!
- One of the property managers showed up unannounced during the move and tried to show the apartment, and she knew we were moving that day. She’s a very nice woman, but that was ill-planned and even the prospective tenant looked uncomfortable and kept apologizing to us. Like, imagine four sweaty filthy people running in and out of the apartment and trying to get one of 400 bookshelves around the tight hallway corners and the dog was kept corralled in the bathroom, which they of course let out and we had to then calm her down and stick her back into the bathroom so she didn’t get run over by a hand cart of books.
- But! At the new house, the new landlord left us a bottle of wine and AVOCADO TREE FOOD! I was already tired and somewhat emotionally fragile and so I misted up a little.
- The garage was full of shit we intended to give away or take to the dump, and we did neither so we had to move it all and it made me want to shoot something with a gun.
- There wasn’t enough room in the car for the food from the fridge, so we decided to go back and get it this weekend. This decision would haunt me at around 4pm when we were finishing unloading the truck in 83º heat and I told myself that when I was done I could drink that beer in the fridge, and then about 10 minutes before we were done I remembered that the beer was IN A DIFFERENT HOUSE and I nearly cried.
- I ate Carl’s Jr chicken strips for dinner and was not happy about it. Actually, I didn’t give a shit. I needed calories in my intake-hole and I didn’t give a fuck what form they were in. We only paused during eating to observe that they weren’t very good.
- You guys: milkshakes. Don’t forget about milkshakes. They will make you forget that you left your icy-cold beer in another house.
- You know what is hilarious? Two exhausted 30-somethings who take miserable lukewarm showers and grumble about malfunctioning water heaters before they both realize at the same time that the water heater was probably set on standby since no one had been living in the house. C’MON BRAINMEATS, JUST GET US THROUGH TO BEDTIME.
- Speaking of brainmeats, after crashing asleep at 10pm, I woke at 2am with a crushing, agonizing, radiating headache that blasted up through my neck and around the sides of my skull as if my head were re-entering the atmosphere backwards. In a white-hot blur of pain I took some Excedrin and it worked! I feel better. Also: that was what, 120+ milligrams of caffeine? Fuck.
- So, yeah. It’s 4:30 in the morning now.
- Wait no, it was 4:30 when I started, now it’s 5:30. Holy smokes! This took me an hour?!