Anger Burger

I’m Sorry to Do This to You

Posted by Sunday on May 4, 2011 at 9:50 am

I don’t really want to talk about it, but for two days last week I had a job at a bakery that I have a lot of respect for.  And after two days my body said in no uncertain terms: FUCK YOU.  Total, epic fail.  Medical stuff, bleep bloop, anyway, then this happened:

My toenails turned black.  WHAT?  RIGHT?  I have no fucking clue, but apparently it’s trauma from being on my feet for too long without rest.  Let that be a lesson to me for trying to earn some fucking money.

May 4th, 2011 | Drama!, True Story

29 Responses to I’m Sorry to Do This to You

  1. Possum says:

    That is just the pits!
    I used to own a restaurant so I know all about standing for long hours. Shoes with lots of arch support and room around the toes were my saving grace.
    The upside is you have fab feet!
    (…and a brilliant dog!!)

  2. lydia says:

    Oh no! Poor toesies!

    Food service is crazy exhausting – I can’t do it anymore myself.

  3. Shirley says:

    I work 12 hours shifts at a hospital and if the toes of my shoes are too tight…that happens. Its ridiculous.

  4. jill says:

    same thing happened to me, after years of waitressing. new shoes did me in.

    eventually the nails got all brittle and I had to sort of peel them off. really disgusting, I know.

  5. Sunday says:

    You know, and I have these fancy “professional” Klogs (http://klogs.com/ProStyles.cfm) that fit a little snugly, but I’ve had them for years, since the last bakery that I worked at, and they’ve never done this to me before. The only thing I can figure is that my feet got very swollen without my noticing (entirely likely), which then pinched my nail bed. BODIES ARE WEIRD.

  6. Kelsey says:

    Two words: Doc Martens. The most badassed you will ever look while reaping the benefits of ankle support and a non-skid sole.

  7. Leesa says:

    Aw buddy, your poor feet. Flip flops forever.

  8. Vita says:

    HOLY MOSES! I’ve never seen such a thing. That sucks. Does it hurt?

    I think Doc Martens are the worst shoes ever made, btw, as far as support goes. Sure they look good, but they are FLAT and ROCK HARD on the bottom. Yes, I’m yelling.

    But you know what shoes work for standing for hours. Or did, anyway.
    I want to hear the story of the two days at the bakery.

  9. jill says:

    Could it be this?

    http://www.toenailfungustreatmentreview.com/blacktoenailfungus.html

    actually a fungus and not from trauma? Not that it’s any better……

  10. Rich Phillips says:

    You think maybe Alan Shepard whined about his feet hurting when he was shot into fucking space?!?

    • Leesa says:

      I suspect the whole being in outer space thing and the huge paycheck probably distracted him from whining about it.

      • Rich Phillips says:

        Ok, ok then. What about Yuri Gagarin? Do you think that he whined about black toenails 50 years, 3 weeks and 2 days ago when he was shot into outerfuckingspace?!? Life is pain (I’m having a crummy day). Point is, if we coddle Sunday then she’ll prolly never make it to Mars and parts unknown. I, for one, will not have that on MY conscience. So, to Sunday I say, “Buck up l’il camper, pull yourself up by your, err clog-straps and get back on that fucking horse and ride like the she-devil Viking plunder that you were born to be”, and/or, “If your toenails ain’t black, your not doin it right”.

        • quagmire says:

          Not only did Yuri not bitch about a thing, he had to shit in a bag and make a sandwich outta it for lunch … for Mother Russia and his komrades. Ya ever see pictures of that fucking diving-bell-for-a-space-capsule they crammed up in? Geezus and St. Peter! And then they’d slam the fuck into frozen-solid tundra on landing. A few braves souls survived space only to die on impact of landing. I’d be drinkin’ a shit-load of Wodka too. Yuri wuz da man and Valentina Tereshkova the first space woman, eh?

        • Sunday says:

          My favorite part about this is the quantity of emails I’ve gotten that are the equivalent of a friend coming up to us in a bar and asking “Is this dude bothering you?”

        • Rich Phillips says:

          Is “this dude” you or me, Jay? For heaven’s sake, either people have gotten really sensitive or I am a complete a-hole and nobody bothered to tell me. In my defense, this is a tweet of mine from January 11th of this year,
          “Best. Blog. Ever. http://www.angerburger.com/
          Just sayin.”
          I rest my case.

        • Sunday says:

          “This dude” = you, Rich; everyone already knows my dad is bothering me.

          Also: people have gotten really sensitive. My only piece of hate mail was from a woman who told me that I was the reason that women got raped, or more specifically, my insistence on making jokes about traits commonly associated with Vikings. You’re not a complete a-hole. In fact, I regret never demanding that you get a drink with me. Wait, do you drink? Either way.

        • quagmire says:

          @Sundaybobundy: I resemble that remark!
          @Richy-Rich:’(..)either people have gotten really sensitive or I am a complete a-hole and nobody bothered to tell me.’
          What phukin’ planet you been on with the away-team my man? On the intertubes? … muahahaha … best belly-laugh me had in longtime. I respond to everything on the webnets as-if it were written by some Chechnyan terrorist swilling ‘tater wodka from a 80mm shell casing, using FarceBook in an abandoned plutonium storage bunker in the Urals. So ‘Buck up li’l camper (..)’ Ha! Gotcha.
          Hey Richy, since we have turned Sunday’s mediocre blog into a radly social-site (FaceplantBook), I need to talk to ya! Buy ya lunch at that new ‘gyro’ shop in scenic, burned-out downtown Oly, rog? We’ll get a window seat and watch all the arsonists walking around. Sunday will give ya me gmails (or I’ll start making more ludicrous ‘crazy ol’ man’ comments. Wurd!)
          Oh, and btw; I ALWAYS told you you were a complete a-hole, didn’t I? Luv ya man … like a Viking. Gotta go now, hotty nurse is bringin’ my meds.

  11. Elsa says:

    Youch! I hear ya: sometimes your body unexpectedly sends out GREAT BIG HONKING distress signals. It seems silly not to heed them.

  12. Kitty says:

    I personally like the “bleep, bloop” portion of this entry.

  13. that looks seriously painful!
    rest!

  14. Jason says:

    I want to hear more about this bakery gig.

  15. Kate says:

    Oh, God, dude. I’m so sorry. I worked for UPS packing trucks for ONE NIGHT. Building these “walls” with boxes (weighing up to 70 pounds) that were coming down a conveyor belt into the back of the truck…it was like Tetris from hell. I sat down and cried at one point while boxes plomped down off the belt willy nilly. It’ll work out next time.

  16. Sunday says:

    Okay, so, now the nail on the left foot is falling off. Mike demanded I glue it down with superglue, but I’m inclined to let it do whatever it wants, naturally. So, I’m letting the toe be a hippy.

    • quagmire says:

      Totally let that nail do the Christian-Science thing. I’ve lost a couple over the years from trauma (one from ill-fitting ski boots, wtf?). The first one, doc advised to just let it fall off, so never bothered after that. A pain in the arse while it’s still hangin’ on, I wrapped a large bandaide around it so I could wear zapatos. They grow back amazingly fast. You could have it removed … for a hundred bucks! … ha, I thought not. Save it so we can clone you.

  17. Ami says:

    I can’t imagine why anyone would feel the need to send you hate mail! So, in order to cancel out the hate, here is some love. I find your blog smart and hilarious and I smile every time I read your posts. Thanks for making me laugh.

  18. jarvis says:

    I’m dealing with the black toe syndrome right now from someone stepping on my toe while playing basketball. I’m starting to think that the nail falling off is preferable to the alternative…mine hasn’t come off yet and it’s been over three months…it’s just morphed into this gnarly, yellowish monster claw that I cover with a band aid on so it doesn’t make everyone vomit.

    • quagmire says:

      Jarvis, I know you don’t really want to here this, but if the nail hasn’t fallen off for 3 months it’s time to bite the bullet buddy and see a doc. Sounds like it wasn’t injured enough to let go. You don’t want it to stay a gnarly monster for the rest of yer days, rog? Find a podiatrist, it’ll be cheaper! And don’t worry, you won’t feel a thing after after they numb your toe. Tell ‘em to rub some topical numbing agent first, then just look away for any injection(s). Honestly, it’s quick and painless. I was a long-distance runner in high school and college and had maybe three removed. Some fall off, some don’t if they aren’t injured ‘badly’ enough … does that make sense? Hope this helps. Just sayin’, not a doctor. Good luck.

      • richphillips says:

        Dear dr quagmire,
        My friend has these really big, juicy pimples (whiteheads, no less) that he refuses to pop. Apparently his mom, who is a nurse, told him long ago to not touch them!?! So, there they are, all white and red and practically pulsating and just begging to be popped. Would it be rude of me to simply reach over and “zap that z”? What’s the proper medical etiquette for this type of thing? They are really bothering me. 

        Richard G. Phillips, III

        • quagmire says:

          My prefreshunal advice is to just simply dump the disgusting friend. I mean, who needs THAT, ugh! Go find a smooth-skinned friend. BTW: what did you ever do about that giant wart on your nose? Just curious in my prefreshunal capacity as medeekul advyzor for Sunday’s Social Scenester Site.

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