YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE CRAZY COMA I HAVE BEEN IN. I was minding my own business, and the next thing I know it is six months later. It was like Awakenings, but with less L-DOPA. The world has changed in my absence. My laptop barely works anymore, people live in an artificial digital environment called Instagram, while their bodies lie dormant, generating poop for robot overlords.
Apparently Mike the Viking has hacked into my system and taken over – misspelling things, failing to use capital letters when appropriate and then taking random photos and irresponsibly labeling them just “CAKE”. I can only ask that you understand what it is like to live with him.
If you want to see what my off-Burger activities are like, find me on Instagram under: subspaceeddy
(Some assknuckle already took ‘angerburger’.) (He’s probably not an assknuckle.)
I will also have you know that I have spent the entire day today cooking and taking photos for a Fun Thing coming this Wednesday. Stand by! There will be a pretty good giveaway, even. Just like the good ol’ days, and by good ol’ days I am thinking specifically of that time when I had to ban a troll for telling me that my jokes were the reason women get raped. I never even told you guys about that! It was great. Apologies to all the women who have been raped out there, it was my fault.
LASTLY ALSO. Thanks for the response to wanting to read my novel. Mike is making some final smashings to it with his axe, and soon the first tester will be at it. Ideally within a few weeks it will be available for sale on Amazon, and we will be hard at work or already done with the Nook and Mobi and Kogo and Fufu and Ooboo and Yaya versions.
October 6th, 2012 | Drama!