Anger Burger

505 Southwestern Chipotle Honey Roasted Green Chile, aka Retribution

Posted by Sunday on Apr 14, 2013 at 9:52 pm

Last week I received an email from the publicist for 505 Southwestern apologizing for the hand incident, and a gentle encouragement to please, for all that is holy, at least taste the chipotle honey roasted green chile samples they sent me. And I feel no small obligation to do what they ask, mostly because, you know, they freighted me like $60 worth of their products.

Allow me to cut to the chase.  This stuff is magical.  I would happily buy jar after jar if I knew where to find it locally (I’m emailing the lady as you read this***).  After all my eye-rolling and whinging and the waffling about how nice to be about being totally unimpressed by the salsa – these guys just  poop out OH BY THE WAY HERE’S THE BEST CHILE PRODUCT EVER NO BIG DEAL.

Even the texture is gorgeous – rich and thick and syrupy, nothing at all like cans of limpid, pale green chiles floating in a sallow water.  You can and I did eat a spoonful straight and found it to be up front both smoky and sweet, followed by the bright green of the chile and a slow, pleasant trail of heat.  I jettisoned my plans to use it as an ingredient in a burrito (though that would be delicious) and instead concocted, on the spot, a delightfully bullshit recipe.

You see, I haven’t been feeling well lately.  I feel best in the morning, and by mid-afternoon and evening my Crohn’s disease is acting up in a new and weird way (let’s try stabbing pains now rather than persistent cramping!) (also let’s bring rheumatoid garbage into play! why have just knee aches when we can have knuckle aches too!) and by the evening all I want are comfort foods.  As a true story: I went to a low-income health clinic last week to explore my non-insured options for finding a GI doctor, and when I was telling the triage nurse that I had Crohn’s she looked me up and down and said “Oh! You seem so… robust.”  In the spirit of being robust, I made mashed potatoes.

I made my usual mash and swirled in several large spoonfuls of chile.  And topped with cheese of course because robust.

Here is a tremendous sigh.  This was perfect.  A little tiny bit sweet and spicy-hot, that distant whiff of chipotle, lots and lots of butter and cream and sharp cheddar cheese.  You win, 505 Southwestern.  Even cutting my hand open on one of your jars, you win.

Green Chile Mash

1 lb. yellow potatoes, peeled and quartered
1/2 stick/2oz butter
1/4 cup cream, half and half or whole milk
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup 505 Southwestern Chipotle Honey Roasted Green Chiles
1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese (or more, probably more)

  • Boil the potatoes in water until fork-tender, about 20 minutes.  Drain them and return them to the heat for just a minute to evaporate off any remaining water.  Mash or rice or foodmill the potatoes until nearly smooth.  Add the butter, cream and salt and pepper to taste.  (Always make them just a tiniest bit saltier than you think is right, because potatoes absorb the salt and taste less salty in short while.) (That is not actual science, just let it go.)
  • Stir in the green chile, then transfer to either one larger oven-safe dish, or several small oven-safe ramekins for individual serving.  Top with cheese and place under the broiler for about 5 to 7 minutes, or until the cheese is melty and starts to brown in a few spots.  As usual, when using a broiler NEVER WALK AWAY FROM IT.  Watch it always.
  • Eat.

 ***UPDATE:  505 Southwestern products are only available in the US southwest (derp), but the marketing director said they would hit nationally at Walmart this summer.  The best part was her email that said “I know you probably won’t love this…” She is correct. I do not love having to shop at Walmart.  But que sera sera.

April 14th, 2013 | Food Rant

7 Responses to 505 Southwestern Chipotle Honey Roasted Green Chile, aka Retribution

  1. quagmire says:

    Now this one I really want to take for a test drive kiddo. Save me a tad. Funny, even before I drilled-down far enough to read about your mash recipe, I was sitting here thinking, ‘Damn. That sounds good on a nice baked potato or some scrambled eggs.’ mmmmm … just made meself hungry.

  2. That looks like it would also be fantastic on top of melted brie on crusty bread.

  3. Joy says:

    OK, so this might be totally out of place and you can delete it if you want, but have you ever thought of using medical marijuana for your chrons? I’ve heard of people who say it works wonders, not only for stomach-related symptoms but also on that autoimmune issues like arthritis, and on overall health and mental well-being. Also, hello, it’s legal in WA now. :) You could ask your doc but you might want to research some yourself online. And for the record, I actually don’t smoke myself but I know people who use it for both IBS and Chrons. I hope you fond some relief either way, it’s a truly crummy disease!

    • quagmire says:

      Not only is your comment totally IN-place, it attests to the fact that possibly we are infinitesimally closer to crawling out of the Dark Ages on the subject. I can personally speak to the virtues of utilizing cannabinoids for legitimate medical treatment. It gives me much relief from severe arthritic pain and migraines. I’m 66 and use in tincture form as I don’t smoke. Still, unfortunately it’s going to be a long, bumpy road before ignorance, fear and plain ol’ unscientific hog-wash regarding ‘The Killer Weed’ is behind us.
      A good first-read on the subject for the un(mis)-informed would be on the Wiki. If this site will allow me, here’s the link:

    • Sunday says:

      It’s not out of place at all – Crohn’s disease nearly tops the list of things they prescribe medical marijuana for, but it doesn’t do it for me. My friends all swear that I just haven’t taken it the right way – and they are probably right, the damn stoners – but it tends to have an opposite effect on me: I get all conscious of how my body feels. And HILARIOUSLY I do not have a problem with appetite.

  4. Lydia says:

    I’ve been using it lately for anxiety and insomnia problems and have found that when I smoke it, it makes my anxiety and insomnia worse but when I eat it, particularly a small amount in a butter or coconut oil infusion, I get a little relief.

    It may be worth continuing to explore even if the initial attempts were failures.

    Anyway, sorry you’ve been feeling worse lately.


  5. Joy says:

    Thank you, quagmire, for your testimonials! I totally agree that it’s not my intoxicant of choice (that prize has to go to dark chocolate!) But I’m pretty sold on the medicinal qualities, and I like to think that if I had something that I needed to treat I would definitely try it, although thankfully that day hasn’t come yet. I’ve also read recently about eating the leaves (not the buds) raw, for a good pain killing and not at all psychoactive effect, because 1. the leaves don’t have very much thc in the first place and are eating it raw, so your body can’t metabolize the thc, only the other canabanoids that have more pain-relieving properties. You can read about it here:

    Anyway, if you know any stoners who grow, maybe you could get some leaves from the and try it? And give us a recipe for cannabis smoothies? ;) Hope you’re feeling better soon, regardless.

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