Anger Burger

You can kill spiders with this one

Posted by on Oct 10, 2014 at 6:48 am

Sunday-with-book

In case you are not following Sunday on instagram, or the dreaded box of faces in boxes and also thumbs, you might have missed the most important thing to happen this year. That is to say: the first real dang-old-fashioned print edition of e galactic mu. Written by Sunday Williams (who you might remember as the funny and multi-talented headmistress of AngerBurger). With cover art by the famously talented Adam Koford (of the laugh-out-loud cats).

You can use it to kill spiders and other level 0 creatures, you can press flowers or hide photographs, you can moisten it and watch it curl, you can display it above the mantle with pride like something you killed, and you can (finally!) read it in bed without worrying about electromagnetic rays frying your defenseless brain.

So drop the dishes, drop the baby, let go of the steering wheel, flush the toilet, turn off the shower, unplug the oven, kick over the TV, drop your pants, drop everything, dance around, wave your hands in the air like you don’t care, do your dance and order it now.

YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

(Get it from Amazon or special-order it at your local bookstore.)

We now return to our regularly scheduled complete lack of programming.

Your friendly neighborhood viking,

Mike the Viking

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3 Posted in Novelry

Any happy little thought

Posted by on Feb 1, 2013 at 6:01 am

In the tradition of this horrible universe, you often get good news with bad news. And vice-versa. So it goes.

Today we announce the long-anticipated, public, available on AMAZON, kindle publication of Sunday’s novel, e galactic mu.

The author.

That’s right, this is a thing. And you can read it. And goddamn it, you should. Our lovely captain put untold hours into crafting a lovely and hilarious story with memorable characters. And I put in no small effort myself, editing and winnowing and replacing dumb quote marks and fixing italic tags all that. And you helped!

Here is a quote from the book:

Now, everyone knows that the bloatshark towers had never failed around Birch Bay, and that even the pier itself had electro-static wire thatching, but no one wanted to be at the end of that pier. No one wants to be the one that sits at the very front of the plane, either: out of some optimistic fantasy that if the plane were to crash, the tail end would remain intact. The Captain Reverend seemed to think that it was all a part of his lot in life, even though he could move his boat at any time. Anyone who had been on the pier longer than a few days knew the Captain’s motto: “Better to be eaten by bloatsharks than have to socialize with you goddamn Mongoloid assholes.”

That is now my motto. I mean, my old motto was pretty similar, but I like this one better. The book is full of wisdom like this, suitable for personal enrichment and/or epitaphs. Also, flying sharks! Hello!

All that is to say, go buy the book. If you don’t have a kindle, get the app for your mammy-rammin’ iphone or itab or idesk or itampon or whatever. And/or buy it as a gift. It is not overly sexual, but does contain scenes of humping. For just $3, it’s a gift that says you’re thoughtful AND frugal AND like humping. Happy Valentines!

Part B of your mission (after you buy the book), is to write a review on Amazon. It does not have to be a long review. It does not have to be a five-star review (though, if you actually read the book, it probably will be). It does not even have to be a positive review. Reviews are gold, and our hope is that people beyond our precious circle of loyal Burgerians will get to enjoy this book. Drop us a comment here after you post a review (so we can high-five you). If you do that, you will be eligible for a possibly immoral special payola-like tribute that will confer IMMORTALITY* and/or FAME. What could be better than that?

That reminds me. I disabled DRM on the thing, so you can share it up. More than anything, we want people reading it. If they like it, maybe they’ll feel guilty and pay for a copy later (I mean, sooner is better, obviously, but later is okay). Or they’ll write a review. Either way, we’re cool like that.

And as long as I’m giving stuff away, here’s a special deal for you non-Kindleers: if you buy the Kindle version, and you require a different format, leave a comment here and I will personally email you a version for your device, in your preferred format** (almost 100% guaranteed to work). It won’t be instant, but it will provide gratification. And it will retain almost all of the typos I missed in the Kindle version. What can I say? I’m a giver.

So, in summary: buy book, write review, buy as gift, tweet, facebook, put it on your blog, tell all your friends, and most importantly, enjoy.

More updates throughout Spamuary. Thank you for your support.

MIKE the VIKING

*Of a very limited sort. Fame not guaranteed. But still, highly awesome. Come on, it’s an oblique bribe! Do I have to spell it out for you? Yes? I will, I promise.

**Not paper or audio, for Fenris’ sake. 

 

 

 

8 Posted in Novelry, True Story

Galactic Almost

Posted by on Jan 18, 2013 at 2:48 pm

 

Feast your eyes on the new cover art for E Galactic Mu, coming soon to Amazon Kindle. How soon? Days. The last hurdle is the cover image for the store and it is 99.94% done. Exciting times, Burgerians! The next step is final sign-off from the lady herself and we will be putting it up. Normally I’d say keep your pants on, but you might want to start taking them off now, in anticipation.

Excelsior!

MIKE the VIKING

 

 

7 Posted in Novelry

FUDGE YOU and your little dog too

Posted by on Dec 23, 2012 at 9:50 pm

 

T’were the busy season at Fig Manor, what with the apocalypse and the other thing. Anyway, the captain has not been making any “new” recipes lately, and she has this thing about not repeating herself. At least, not rehashing old recipes, OLD STANDBYS, much to your chagrin, and mine.

I have been eating the traditional pre-Ragnorak diet of lefse (this looks like a decent recipe, based entirely on the look of that grandmother- report back if you try it)  and fudge. You can get the ol’ fudge bog standby here. Oh, and don’t use stainless cookware, because apparently it will “break” the fudge. The one pictured above is the second batch. SCIENCE!

What else? Well, there’s this thing:

 

GAZE on this work, ye mighty, and DESPAIR. Created by Spidermonkey’s own Wizard Garrett for the annual cthulhumas secret santa. We could not be more tickled.

In bookish news, the publishing of Sunday’s secret not-so-secret novel is 99 &44/100% complete, which is to say: it will be complete once I take one more pass through for proofing’s sake and come up with a cover that is adequate for our purposes. Anyway, SOON.

This is (probably) not the cover of the book:

 

And! As if that were not enough, there is another GRAND PROJECT in the works. It does not involve much reading at all, but it does involve vampires (both kinds), as well as zombies, aliens, and demons. And, most importantly, VENGEANCE.

Happy whateversday to you all. Try not to get eaten by ice giants.

-MIKE the VIKING

 

 

 

 

 

5 Posted in Novelry, Uncategorized

Comma Police, Arrest This Girl

Posted by on Nov 2, 2012 at 9:52 am

The great secret not-so-secret novel-editing project is proceeding more or less as planned. Thank you all. With your help, we may get this out just in time for the Mayan Apocalypse. I’m as excited as a little Mayan boy with a bowl full of human hearts. Which is to say: very!

A strange formatting error has been unearthed however. One of the ANGRY BOOKERS violated instructions and checked the formatting on an iPhone. While that is upsetting enough, what is worse is that the formatting is apparently IMPERFECT on the loathsome device. I have a hypothesis, though, so if you are cursed with one of those things and would like to help make some science, speak up.

Otherwise, keep your fingernails shorn and your seax sharp.

MIKE the VIKING

Picture Unrelated

7 Posted in Novelry, Uncategorized